The C word

You say I don't care enough, when I do care you say I care too much, so I just won't care.

As I lay here thinking of all that has happened I've realized that I am not perfect, not invincable. And I honestly feel ok with that, I don't want to be perfect what's the fun in that. I don't want to be invincable then I would never know what is like to live, feel joy, excitemet, pain. I gues what they say is right as you get older you start to realize things for what they truly are and not the materialistic things.

I haven't had the easiest life, but it also hasn't been the hardest life either. Yes my mom had me when she was 16 when she had me and I know most people where just hoping for me to follow in her footsteps, but even as a child I saw the strugles she had to go thru to make sure I was taken care of and in good health and I honestly knew I couldn't do half of what she did. My grandparents have put up with more of my shit than I think any granparents have ever experianced, but no matter what happens they are always there, we could have an arguement and then 3 min later be making jokes about each other, I always found it funny when I was younger people would say you are just like your grandpa. I thought it was because of how much we both drink hahaha but now I've started to see the same personality he has I will have when I'm older. I can't leave the old lady out we have the most back and forth love hate relationship and if you where to walk into one of our conversations you would think we hate each other, but it's the wierdest way that we show or love to each other and that we care. I may complain about doing house choirs now that I'm out of the house but I do them becaue I care.

My two wonderful aunts, if they just read that they probably think I want something. You two each have helped mold me into the person I am and on different occasions kept me from killing the grandparents, and I can always count on you ladies to be there for me with some sort of advice or just show that you care. My sisters, I love these two little girls dearly, and would do anything for them, it sucks we live in different states but they know I'm just a phone call away, and will be there for all the big events graduations, weddings etc. Big brother always here. My secound mother my madrina, well I honestly can never repay you for everything that you have done for me taken me in as your own I always know I have a bed and a plate of food (even if it's takeout) at your place, and I appreciate it.

Cousins I will say that everyone of you has had an important part in my life be it, hanging out, playing games, dancing, talking, everything when I know I need to just get a pick me up you guys are always there more like brothers and sisters than cousions but I wouldn't have it any other way. My friends I will say that I have surrounded myself with the best, good hearted and well meaning people I can think of, so many stories which each one and I'm glad you've put up with some of my crap " your born into a family, friends are the family you choose" I guess I got luck got a great group of family and friends that I know care for me and know I care for them.

So yea I do care because I have a great group of people that do care for me and I care for them.

Thanks for caring,
Gabe