Drinking

Hmmmm how this world has either turned its back on me or made me full of rage,anger,sorrow all at the sametime, that when drinking comes in.

It seems to be something that i do when i am faced with tough times and when i am feeling sad and dont know what to do. I have lost both my great-grandparents in the past six months. That has put alot of pressure and stress on me, i know that i have Karla,Joe,Nat and Caro to talk to but when i seem to find myself by myself i seem to pour a drink to forget about it all and to relax and try to go back to a place were i knew what the hell was going on and not feeling so sad, i think the fact that i have lost so much in so little time, has made me more cold and heartless than i have every been, I would say i am an ass sometimes to people that dont know me but in reality i dont put up with people shit and, i like to have everything out on the tabel, and if you dont like what i got to then i could care less and being blunt is what i do.

So i have been told today that their maybe more sickness in my family again, and this is probly goin to be the straw that breaks me, and then i would not know what to do, i am not saying i have a drinking problem but at this time in mylife it is probly the only thing that makes me feel calm and relaxed, and able to cope with all this messed up world has to offer and it seems like i cant go a month with out haveing something pop up that is another ding to the soul, and another ding to my liver. Well i believe in karma and i have been playing this song for almost half-an hour and it is what i am can relate to right now. so here you guys go i am leaveing you guys with some JT